Contentment and Misery

We expect so many things in life, and as we receive them, the expectations rises. It’s human tendency to be never satisfied. The current situation is an absolute example to validate it. Most of the urban population cries of time crisis, not getting enough to be with the loved ones. This pandemic has brought a lockdown & we all are confined within the four walls like 24*7 for couple of weeks/months. It’s unfortunate crisis, though an opportunity as well to give time to self & ur loved ones. U can get some peace, satisfaction, & happiness after feeling a sense of belongingness with self & loved ones around in ur life. Never again, u’ll get such isolated time to be at home. If u can’t weave your relations now, you’ll never. Be an opportunist and make the most out of this dark phase. This dark phase too, can add some colors in your life. But what are you doing? Crying about the boredom of being at home? Being with your family? You can certainly connect digitally & emotionally with your family if they stay apart. Although, there’s no such time to start a new step with family, but this one can really do wonders. Get involved, for yourself & them, both. This will reciprocate in best ways for long time.

So, try to overcome the shadow clouded in your mind & see a sunshine outside. There’s much to do & find the real solace in life.

Stay home & stay safe.

With love ❤

N.S.

The traditional outfit of society

Our life goes through different phases and it’s really difficult to decide which one was more better /worse 😉 Let’s not discuss on them all, else it will be a 100+ pages article (got scared? lol…). Anyway, let’s talk about the phase around ‘marriage’. Don’t judge me, I’ll try to be neutral and unbiased on gender basis but I’ll express what I have seen in our great Indian society.

Marriage is a similar process to recruitment/hiring in corporate organizations. There will be multiple rounds and you’ll be taken on-board after all the scrutiny 😛

If you’re a girl, the process gets more tougher for you. There have been cases where the girl is asked to remove her footwear, wash her face, to walk few steps, to write something on a blank piece of paper. Well, amazed? You, better not? These were few ridiculous practices to ensure the girl is a good fit or not. Unfortunately, it’s still prevalent in our surrounding. The litmus test is made only for the female category. Special privilege, i guess so..

Just like before rolling out the offer letter, salary is discussed, in most of the marriages ‘Dowry’ is discussed. More the amount of dowry, higher the boy’s side build their false pride and image. Once the knot is tied, comes another interesting (horrible for few) chapter. The girl shall be now judged on numerous parameters. How she cooks, does the households, pitch of her voice, type of laugh, her social quotient with other relatives (in-laws), be it an aunt from a distant relation or a cousin from four generations distant tree. She is now expected to adopt/accept them all as her own family, which makes sense to some extent. However, the thing that pinches me here is that, why not the similar expectations are made from the boy? It’s not the girl who is married alone, the boy too is married now. Let’s keep some expectations from him too. Why can’t he respect the girl’s family? Why isn’t he being asked to be amiable to all the relatives of her wife’s side? Why his social quotient is good for his own family and friends only? Such bigotry sucks..

Just because you’re a ‘man’ you need not know any household or have forte in anything. You’re a man, that suffices all? Really????? Nobody judges you on your attributes (how you eat / laugh / sit / walk/ and so on).  I read a quote somewhere which shall be a good fit here. If a girl smokes, her character is judged. however, if a man smokes, it only causes lung cancer. Should we assume, that girls are born without lungs and man without character? (Take it lightly, it’s just a random sarcastic message).

If a girl is vocal, make herself heard or tries to live as per her wish, she is mocked as ‘extraordinary’ and referred to as if she is some “hoor hi pari”. (Funny, no?). Well, I don’t believe such mockery can lower down the morale of a self-esteemed person. Each one of us breath air but not all can define the volume and % of content mixed in it. You’ve to be a real expert for that. Likewise, we come across thousand of people. Not every review should matter to you, pick the one which comes from the ‘subject matter expert’ 😉

No matter how much developed we are in science and technology, the mental condition still runs 50 years backward. The update run doesn’t works when you have to consider the liberty and thoughtfulness of the other half of population.

Anyway, I can’t change all but at-least I can carry a mindset which says “not to” differentiate on the basis of gender and relationship. Irrespective of the fact that you’re a husband or wife respect each others families.  Let make our lives better with a little change in mindset and thoughts. It costs nothing and the returns are great. Do give a try.

Cheers!!

N.S.

 

Sometimes growing old is a curse

It’s been a while, hello again!!

Today I am writing about something which is very much prevalent in our society and (un)fortunately many experiences it too. Getting old is inevitable. Someday each one of us will get grey hairs, wrinkled skin, poor eyesight and desire to get loved by own children. Parents are the epitome of love, sacrifice and strength. However, as they grow old, many of us feel them as a burden. Have you ever imagined, what they have come through to give you the life you’re enjoying today? Pause for a moment and give a thought. The unspoken words should be heard at times. They will never complain or misbehave, though deep inside they will crave for your time, love & respect. Try giving these three stuffs to them, trust me that’s the biggest treasure they will have (try it out!).

They have sacrificed their desires,dreams, comfort, leisure to ensure that you get them all. Your mom might have skipped many meals to feed you with all best possible cuisines and expensive snacks/confectioneries. They couldn’t have afforded for self but for you. Have some gratitude, please (for god’s sake). Today, when you have grown successful in your career, your negative attitude towards them too has grown proportionately. It’s acceptable to hate them during your teenage phase (that could be accepted considering your hormonal changes) but now at this mature age, this is shameful.

They hardly have few years left to breathe and add to their life. Make them happy, give them a life they really deserve. Worshiping idols and making huge donations to priests won’t fructify until you admire the true heroes of your life.

It’s tasteless article, but I really get brutally hurt and disappointed when I come across such parents who are dying each day in grief due to their non-affectionate children.

Do remember, one day you’ll get old too. Let few thoughts ponder your mind.

Until we meet again..

N.S.

Dearth of happiness

They say ‘Life is too short to keep worries around’. But, it is too short to pretend and fake your identity too. I am coming up here with a new story (not much scripted though).

Everything was going fine and looking like bed of roses. But, Alas!! a thirsty deer always becomes a victim in a mirage. After dozens of meetings, they finally tied the knot and vowed to be bonded forever. The first day itself portrayed the gloomy future making a hypothetical forecast. It was 2:00AM when he returned home, his legs and tongue, both were shaky. The alcohol percentage was above all the happiness, festivities and the promises he made a day before (holding her hand in front of hundreds of people). She tried but couldn’t control the tears from those eyes which were still looking bold and bright with the dark bridal colossal. Well, it was only the first paragraph of this new phase of her life. They headed towards a new destination to make some lifetime memories. Unfortunately, the alcohol remained to be of highest priority for him. That bride’s charm was lost somewhere. She was carrying a routine instead of a pleasant experience. Instead of holding her hands, he was busy holding his bottles and smoke stuffs. Nothing can be any more painful for a newly wed, than being of secondary importance in the initial days of her new life. Before leaving the heavenly place, the girl decided not to intercept ever in the personal habits of her groom, as this was landing to only irritation and no solution.

Anyways, they returned back to their normal life, set up their home and got busy in balancing work-life schedule. Not to mention, the boy was not much involved in household chores too. His primary focus remained those stuffs which were creating a gap between them. Finally, the girl convinced herself that she is not on a social charity voyage, nor can she make herself as of primary importance for him.

She accepted the reality, though that was painful. She decided to focus on other things (work / family/ future aspirations). Somewhere, there was a thought to be “free” from the burden of relationship which actually never existed. She was bold, independent and above all determined and audacious. She preferred to live life on her own terms.

Sometimes, pretending to be happy and hiding other’s mistakes costs you a fortune.  Think about yourself, your own happiness and value the emotions inside you. As they say ‘ you are not put on this earth to please everyone’. They continued to live together, though the emotions were separated and so the relationship.

I hope this story comes to a better conclusion in my next post. Until then, be happy, be yourself.

 

With Love ❤

N.S.

Women: No words can define you

Suddenly the phone ranged and she was told she is the reason her fiancee lost a cricket match. It took a while to understand the moment and situation. But, here you go. The loser is a man and he can’t lose. It has to be a woman to bear the onus. There’s nothing wrong or right, no room for discussion. Oh! did you say how? How on the earth can some one need a reason to humiliate a lady.. She is a lady and this is her fault. No other reasons required. You are a woman and this patriarchy society will held you responsible for all wrong deeds.

Be it a 2 months old baby, 60 years old lady or a teenage girl, if they are molested or raped; it is not the rapist who is at fault; but is it the victim who is the culprit. You are a female and this is your sin. At least, by the mentality of this male dominating society, this is the rule and verdict both. Men cannot be wrong nor accountable directly. It has to be a women in backstage on whom allegations could be thrown.

There are thousands of families who abort their fetus if it’s a girl inside. There are millions who drown in sorrow if a baby girl is produced. I wonder, every man needs and dreams of getting married and making a family. But, when nobody wants a girl child, how the dream will fulfill? If there won’t be ladies around, whom will they molest, humiliate and allege for their lacking?? I wonder big times.

At every stage, a male considers himself as superior. Let’s take the example of Indian weddings. The girl leaves her family for a new family, be it by choice or chance. For this, her family is penalized in monetary terms commonly known as “Dowry”. Just because your daughter will now be a part of new family, you have to pay humongous fees (fee much more than the cost of her entire lifetime food and clothes). But the greed doesn’t ends here. No matter the girl is well qualified, or even better financially sound than the groom, since she is a woman, she is inferior and must pay dowry before making herself a part of new family. Not a legal process but a societal process. I ask “WHY”. In most of the cases men do not take a stand and do not oppose dowry because they think that if they don’t accept dowry it will depreciate their market value.  I say, they are the most incapable and insecure men who can’t run their family w/o dowry. Why men aren’t supposed to pay dowry? Generally it’s the female who manages household chores & is caretaker of everyone. So by that logic, she should get dowry by the groom’s family.(Barter system, tendering service against monetary benefit)

If a man fails in his work, he always blames the woman around (Mostly, the wife). Of-course, because there no better way to hide your in-capabilities so put the allegations on her. She might be a bad luck or misfortune; but if the man wins or progresses in life she do not get a chance to get the credit. She cannot be. She is a lady who can’t be appreciated but blamed.

You are a women, you are supposed to behave properly, speak softly, smile gently and many more bla bla bla bla… There are hundreds of rules for you. You cannot be just yourself because you’re a woman and this is your biggest fault (Fault in our stars). You’ll be judged by everything and everyone. But, don’t lose your identity in this patriarchal society. If speaking your heart out makes you wrong, then it’s absolutely fine to be called as wrong. You are not put on this planet only to please others. Nature is evolving and for that norms must be broken.

There are a few blessed like me who are surrounded by admiring men. I am fortunate enough that I was not born in a biased family. I was privileged to be raised in the arms of a heroic father who treated his daughters as princess and a boon of his life. I enjoyed equal/superior rights than my brothers in my family. I am raised in this manner that I am capable and prompt enough to raise my voice seeing any odd around unlike a poor suppressed girl. I was being taught since beginning to be audacious and rational, both.

I want to express much more, but the aggression can’t be shared through one article. More to come, soon. Until then, let’s try to make the world a better place for everyone.

Best,

Neha..

Memories lasts forever!!!

Its so mesmerizing while swimming in pool of memories. The good ones, the ugly ones, whatever they were, they are precious now. We can’t go back to that time but we can certainly cherish them, forever.

Countless memories, no right words to describe them. Love them, all.

What comes in your mind if you are asked about your best memory to share?

There are tsunami of thoughts. From the zeal of first day at school, first picnic, first notebook, pencil, crayons, first friend, first visit to grandparents place, first crush, first kiss, first job, first day at work and so on….

I have lived the major half of my life and it has been a great journey, kudos to all who are or were a part of it. No special mentions here, don’t want to be biased 😉

There were days when I felt as the happiest person on earth, then there have been few phases which drowned you in pool of tears. Some times it was lack of maturity, sometimes it was excellent display of understanding. None can be perfect, neither was/am I. Everyone loves attention, until it invades your privacy (of-course). But, how about loneliness? Nobody wants to be friends with loneliness. As it brings boredom and at times sorrow too. Though, either you wish or don’t, you will  come across it at some or other stage of your life.

It feels so good watching people around you prospering in their life. But it’s a pain when you see yourself as a loner in that crowd.

Just imagine, you have none to talk or visit. We all share our thoughts (happiness/anger/whatever) with somebody. But what if that somebody isn’t with you anymore. It’s deadly to imagine what you have nobody at your side.

So make yourself visible and heard to all. Make memories full of colors and sounds so that it resonates beautifully to others and yourself too.

Take care & do remember me until my next post 🙂

With love

N.S.

Its all about YOU

Ever wondered, how time flies in an eye-blink. Seems the story happened yesterday. Though, its more than two years. The quantity of life is increasing on right side and decreasing on left side, you know what I meant here 😉

A monotonous schedule or a happening phase, both will fade away. What will remain with you  is YOU and the memories. The one in which you were laughing will now make you cry and vice versa. The world is changing like never before. Human is also like a technology now a days. You have to keep yourself updated else you will be dumped being valueless.

Everyone is a saint when it comes in preaching others but when comes to following those rules most of them are monsters. That’s universal truth. It’s human tendency we expect too much from others but never bother to take a self initiative, i guess its inevitable 😀

The air of new world is now filled with pollution and music. Foods are focused on being lower calorie value, and high market value (Example – Extra virgin olive oil) hahahaha..

So guys, let’s swim with the tide. We have miles to go.

With Love <3<3<3

N.S.

A random day of life

With a tick tock in the clock, my eyes opened at 6:45 AM. Thoughts rushed in to the brain making an itinerary for the day. But Brain decided to sleep for next few more minutes. It was a Tuesday morning and the schedule was like any other business days. Day get started, food was packed, and I headed to office. On the way, I keep myself busy going through the recent news, Facebook feeds and music (of course). The news gives me a thought that half of the country’s population has yet not evolved from the stone age era. Some goons or as they say “Followers” of a tricky Baba has created violence in one part of the country, with a toll of more than 40 lives. A suspicious game “The Blue Whale Challenge” is trapping the teenagers and abetting them for suicide. Triple talaq petitioner’s child gone missing, new verdict by apex court on marital rape.There were numerous such news I wanted to read thoroughly to understand Is the society I am leaving really so messed up. But, i had tilted the entrance gate of my work bay and it was time for interaction with my Japanese and Korean clients. As the clocked moved, more foot falls started on the floor.

Suddenly an email arrived which hold my attention. I double read the sender’s name to be sure on the thought which had just arrived in my mind. And unfortunately, it was true. One of my favorite colleague was moving on. Not just because he received a better offer from somewhere, but with the fact that he was hurt deep inside with some management’s decisions. Well, corporate politics, it is indispensable in any organization. Where there are people, there will be agreements and disagreements. Few win, few accommodate, few succumbs. Its YOU who have to choose for yourself. In the adieu ceremony I got a luck to meet few of my old colleagues with whom I am friends as well. Its been a journey of more than thirty months, but nothing has changed except our seating locations.

Anyways, as the day moved forward, I got indulged in my work and some secret talks over Whatsapp (with a identity not to be revealed at this moment :p). I was done with exhaustive works and headed back to my home. Again same habit which i follow in the morning. This time, i was reading people’s comments over the incidents i just mentioned above. Some sounded sensible and were trollers, for some I can say what the hell are you doing on this planet, you better go to Jupiter and spread your garbage there.

After reaching back to my flat, again i was following my routine. Dinner preparation, phone call with my family members. When You are a young girl, living away from home, family gives you a comfort and some happy moments, though at times it turns out to be bit unhappy (with any XYZ reason).

While going off to sleep, i take a flashback of entire day and realize one thing, one common thing, which i notice daily, every thing is defined, you just have to select and follow.

Its you who define yourself. Be YOU, always 🙂

Best,

N.S.

 

 

 

Arrange marriages!!!

Monsoon season has arrived and thus the discussions on marriages are also spilling everywhere just like the raindrops!!!

An Indian girl, earning a decent salary maintaining a good standard of living than the country’s average, climbing up in corporate life. But, Alas! until and unless she isn’t married, her success holds not much of value. So here comes the chants of marriage prospects and her wedding. The most vigil person is her mother who keeps thousands of criteria for a guy to qualify for her. On the contrary, her father is OK with any. Now, starts the real scene.

Random meetings with guys, observing them over a cup of coffee and veg burger, doesn’t makes much sense to girl. But, after all this is how arranged marriages are. After the snacks are done, smiles are exchanged, it’s time for the next steps. Sometimes the decisions are instant, sometimes it goes for weeks just like court cases.

There are few cases too, where the bride side rejects the prospects but it’s bit challenging to get a good riddance from the desperate persons. Finally, after all those random meetings, thousands of phone calls, whats-app messages, the story is concluded.

It’s kind of different – arrange marriages. Anyways, let’s see how it goes{Mine – yet to be written 😉 }….Will come back to yourself with a spicy story, soon.

With Love,

N.S

Life is all about bla bla bla

Whatever we do, we always get a feedback (be it positive or negative). Since day 1, when we arrive in this world, comments start chasing us. The most excited aunts forecasts our future and looks (She looks like her mom/dad/granny..) when even our eyes and nose are hardly visible :p

In childhood we are taught about science and morals, manners, values. As we start understanding those meanings, our infancy is gone. Then comes the most complicated phase: Teenage. Where we are again advised to focus on studies, building a foundation for bright future. Several examples of our relatives/neighbors are being quoted who have already excelled in their careers setting some benchmark with the magical figures in their report card. At the same time we have somehow managed to create our own world. Imaginations and friends rule our world.

Next is the ‘Survival of the fittest’ phase: Adulthood. You HAVE to have a job, marriage, and other responsibilities. Here you learn all the basics of life. Automatically you learn tolerance and patience (Mostly for working people :p). We cannot argue with our bosses every now and then, like the way we do with our spouses. However, situation is similar at both the fronts. You are not the culprit, still you are accused.

Next is Old age, where we start sharing our long deposit knowledge to rest of society and surrounding. No matter which phase you belong to, it’s all about perceptions and suggestions. Few leads to arguments, few to settlements.

So keep enjoying your life with all the bla bla bla bla bla….

 

Cheers!!

Neha